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    the m E p.com

     

         2006

      my    E l e c t r o n i c    pen

    ESYDNLBRAB
    Each Snowy Year Does Never Linger Beyond Raw Aprils Bite!..


     

     

     

     

    Diametric Opposition

     

    Leaves us standing still.

    Kiev opportunity—while glaringly obvious, scrumptiously eclectic, rare and bounding with opportunities, invites also drudgery galore and questions tiresome. Paperwork, packing, and plants, among them.

    The End result is motionless.

    Still listening to Roberta flack in the morning, these sounds bring me to a place exactly between lamenting for the innocent past and standing up and re-creating it in the now for the future. Still no movement.

     

    August 10, 2006

     

     

     

     

    _______________________________________

     

    july 4, 2006

    it's a big day in Montréal. multiple-buzzing, we're worldcupping; jazzfesting; and shuttle-watching. something brought me to a link to the lyrics to 'America the Beautiful'. 
    They're long, and beautiful.

    we're amongst the 'late' crowd. i look around and we're not the oldest people we know having babies. in fact, even our older friends are still having babies. that's comforting knowledge when you're nearly 41 before you know the marvel that is watching your 4-year old pretend that her hedgehog is delivering Christmas presents. it's like we kind of missed the first half of the game and somehow; get to watch it now. older, wiser, (i assume) and more precarious, we spend more time in the future than in the past, although we don't stay there long. it's getting shorter.

    conversations of marbella; a somewhat miraculously clean kitchen; we're falling out of mini-vacations and waiting for the big shmagilla. 

    i've tried to make analogies for my attitude towards the 'blog-world'; but they're for not. let's not.

    yeah, it's been a while.

     

    __________________________________________

     

     

    Easter Saturday, 2006

    Text Box: i must be the weirdest person i know.
i've got to be the only person on the planet who is bothered by all this cheap stuff.
it just don't make sense that i can buy 3dimensional fruit stickers for 1 dollar.
those stickers would have been 5.99 when i was her age, and that puzzle 7,99.
the Easter fluff would have been 3.49 and the baskets 2,99. The Sponge Bob chocolate should cost 12,99 and the little purple chickadees should be at least 3,99. The box they're in is worth more than 1,00....
it bothers me. i can't put my finger on it, but it bothers me. it's not right. it's counter-everything. i get the math, i just don't get the logic. 

and there's lots of other stuff that i unfortunately can't write here.
off to bed.

     

    March 1, 2006

    Text Box: these are my jim travillia days
 
actually, i think they're coming to an end. i'm on the precipice of the horizon of
my childhood dreams. they may end here.
 
this might be as far as my child's eye could see. 
i dreamed of being a famous detective, with a fancy car and a labyrinth for a driveway with a coded path. i worked in some big mysterious place and was very good at what i did.

ok, so i didn't quite make it to the soft-top mercedes and the coded driveway, but it is those same dreams that took me to where i am today. 
don't tell me that my 12 year old wouldn't be impressed with a fancy company cellphone, conference calls with venezuela in the morning and india at night, vacations in the greek islands, weddings in spain... 
 
so the possibility is that it's done,  i'm at the end of what my 12 year old's
mind could have dreamed:
 
now what.
 
either i sit back in the comfort of knowing that my childhood dreams
have reached their natural conclusion; and accept their realization and
a simpler journey into the future;  or i fly into the unknown - take
brave daring risks - why do they have to be risks - but either way, i'm
on the top of the hill now.
 
or maybe it's time to start dreaming jim travillia's dreams...

     

     

     

     

    January 18, 2006

    an important generational shift has occurred with my daughter since after my nieces and nephews were born. 'pow pow' has gone the way of the dodo. my daughter has never seen a pow pow movie, but instead says 'Pyune Pyune', the sound of Anniken Skywalker's laser gun.

    now she grabs my sleeve and says 'VAMANOS'

     

    January 2, 2006

    2005 was a year of natural disasters, some for others and one for us too.
    the numerology chick at Debbie's party in November told me that 2006 is
    a great 'year of change' for me. (or was that a year of great change?)
    thanks God for that, i say. talk about needing a change. it's been a while.
    (i have to accept the caps or else i get red squiggles).

    i have a resolution this year. 
    need to spend less money. 
    on what? on just about everything.

    then there's a list of things that i only realized this morning at 3:42 am were
    in fact becoming a list. in the middle of the night, these are adult 'dreams' that at 40,
    one must begin to admit will likely never materialize... and of course part of the list is accepting that there will always be too many adult dreams to do, 
    as long as I'm still living my childhood ones...
    should i list them here, not sure. 

    recording a CD, choreographing a number for Beckett, trying my hand at fashion design, opening a restaurant, going to paris with my parents...or at least my dad...

    the restaurant however, i beckoning. 3 days to prepare Peking duck is a chore i adore. 

    tri-barfing again in the middle of the night always makes one happy to be alive
    in the morning. how much longer do i need to spend lying awake at night with
    my darkest thoughts...

    let's hope not long, not long.
    welcome, 2006.
    welcome, change.

     

     

     

     

     


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