april 29

talkie walkie walkie talkie
what is there to say


vaccines and pandemic
and zoom and vaccines
and wine and beer
and yesteryear

and food and sheets
and booze and yeets
and zoom and in the clear

and me and you
but you're not here
to drink the wine and beer

april 28

at least there's a dog
and a basement  next door
some things are the same
but some things are not

55 is still too young to die

april 25


a tired pupper by my side
is she not mep material
is she not pink enough
perhaps she is too specifically love.


it's an april on a fence
on a few fences:
transition to no job
transition to no snow
transition to no school
transition to vaccines

while india dies
and america proms
and zooms go on

april 24

theories into modern day anxiety

1-no more undiscovered stuff - no more explorers - eveyrthing is known - no hope to uncover stuff
2-no stability - constant change -- (job etc)
3-too much heavy shit:

a-climate change
7- anxiety
8- Marchfor science

april 21

precoffee woken by loud barks
morning done goodbye

april 20

Hunt for Red October
that was love
we learned

april 18

no surgery for mike
I'm not an anniversary person
although we both wish we were
so many things we don't know we wish we were
and we're not:
we want to be someone else


words fail me as thoughts invade me:
a silent  world pervades me
my back fails me as ideas bathe me:
a silent world evades me

april 15

open heart surgery for mike
a little bit of a fail for ernie
i'm not an anniversary person
but neither is she

you knew that so let's shake on it

april 9
paradise by the dashboard light

april 5th
i need to write a book, that no one will read.

april 3

pink saturday
cold saturday

let's type you

Start by making a simple list of descriptive words, e.g.:

  • what words do they often use to describe themselves? - intelligent correct meticulous
  • what words are often used by others to describe them? - intelligent kind funny
  • what are their most prominent personality characteristics? - intelligence analysis humour
  • what do you know of their public vs private life? - it's about the same

Biographical details gathered from books, interviews, or conversations, e.g.:

  • hobbies, interests, or passions - engineering aerospace music war history
  • unique childhood experiences - he organized the jerry telethon thing - stared in the school play
  • adjustment difficulties in adolescence - none really
  • important lessons learned in young adulthood -
  • deeper self-insight in adulthood - alot of things he never told us. that the world was shit.
  • middle age struggles/worries - alcohol
  • insights from looking back in later life -
  • quality of relationship to parents/caregivers -
  • quality of intimate/school/work relationships
  • unique experiences and turning points in life -
  • successes, failures, major setbacks
  • what they prioritized vs ignored in life

It’s most important to collect details that relate specifically to their reasoning or decision making process, e.g.:

  • how they make/made important life decisions
  • how they chose life/career/family/relationship goals
  • mottos, attitude, guiding principles, philosophy of life
  • how they came to adopt personal beliefs and values
  • what they aspire to and why
  • who they admire/hate and why
  • how they approach novelty or change
  • how they approach problem solving
  • how they approach moral dilemmas
  • how they approach personal life vs work life
  • how they approach different kinds of people

Get some idea about their psychology or mental health, e.g.:

  • unique intelligences, aptitudes, talents, skills
  • the state of ego, moral, and emotional development
  • most common mood or state of mind
  • chronic emotional issues (anxiety, anger, shame, etc)
  • common patterns of relationship struggles/conflicts
  • problematic patterns of romantic attraction
  • signs of persistent problems (addiction, disorganization, etc)
  • unresolved issues that produce recurring mistakes
  • negative experiences that heavily influenced them

For fictional characters or people I know personally, I like to make note of:

  • patterns of strong judgments/reactions (positive or negative)
  • patterns of psychological defense mechanisms
  • how they handle stressful situations (mild/moderate/severe)
  • how they handle criticism or negative feedback
  • how they handle not getting what they want/expect
  • how they behave during disagreements or conflicts
  • how they’ve changed through character development

april second, with a pink hue; you were indeed a tad purple, with your prose and your thoughts.
i'm re-welcoming 10:21 back into my life, along with all the words you made up, and trying to type
you by the day. painful after coffee but moreso before. say hi to jeffrey flying around the pink screen.

the alt-tab today brings me to a boring place
so i'll fill up this pinkish space
while i chew my face

although most of the words are painful.

april  first, with a dusting of non foolish flower, i sit to welcome myself into this month

a month of writing a month with no job a month of saying goodbye all over again
and a month of accepting horrible things.

perhaps we'll spend the month remembering you ernie.