august 2011. my life.

days in single file
dickens said, 'it was the best of times, it was the worst of times'
can the future really be so unpredictable
the past so painted
the now so bittersweet?

and in my dreams, there was an oversized baby;
a hidden one, growing, inside of me, about to be born.
too many baby photos has even this otherworldy mother dreaming real dreams

looking over each shoulder now, aside from itchy messy head, i slept.
do hurricaines cause itchyness?

people ask, do you like your school choice?
how can i know, the results are not yet out.

don't read the papers today poots. maligning truths in bold print, you just lost some money.
the virus may be gone, effects linger, trapezius muscles, amongst others.
woulda coulda slept better, woulda eaten more, if the swiss didn't show up.

When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, "Use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night"
Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Whenever we're together, that's my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana's early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There's a roof above and good walls all around
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home.
You're my home.

You're my home.
-Billy Joel, 1973

wakey wakey wide world;
training thoughts to stay on the track
or at least on the train
in a thoughtful world

what has poot to say today
of sunshine and string theory
where only theoretically, things are connected
and the rest, is left to the wind
and the softest, brownest summer arms and legs
accompany me

we're on the road again

september is calling

everytime i follow...

"and the light shines in the darkness; and the darkness does not comprehend;"

in when do you live, in the now, in the past, in forever.
in this moment, there is here; there is now;
poots' shoulders, square.
there is no PCI-DSS; there is no vacation;
there is no truck.
have i learned this way,
was i born this way,
do i protect myself this way.

hiding a heart, is the only way i know.

a dog barks.

august rain
follows, in suit.

tippy-toeing through black and white;
i watch the world with glasses, tinted; sometimes clear; sometimes broken;
is it watching over me today.
conversations remain the same;
years and years go by,
they laugh; i cry;

and then it rained on my parade.
are people as happy as they appear?
and why is it news, that beauty fades

or is imagining enough, since i've passed the self-mutilation threshold.

slumber came;
bound by ladders, no snakes,
and the sweet august mornings that will be soon behind us...

the house is rearranged, tidy, by a woman who doesn't live here
what does that make me?

sip, poots, sip.
caffeine is different now
moving from the other side, slower
more fuzzy sides on a seven-sided box
can you say that ten times fast

i felt better before i read the headlines
crumbling
i thought the recession was over
am i not paying attention

august, will you leave me now...

all the quotes about sleep
are not available to me now
cafeine at 5:54
shoulders down, poots.
you can do it.

am i afraid of more than my own mind
feeling practical otherwise, imperative that PCI-DSS gets addressed;
lifelong cash is always paramount; respect; purpose; ownership.
it indeed, happens once in a while.

sitting by sunlife;
reeling in the years;
sit up straight poots;
you own something.

how much has really not killed you?
everything?

and when did beauty get more beautiful?
scant words;
stiff everything;
arch your back poots, and try to wake up into the mEp.
a few words in the middle of the otherside
grainy, rainy, augusty days, following this high school reunion back in time
a birthday month, a vacation away, pacman anyone?
can you really turn back time
with a glance; some lightening; and a few cartwheels
how much is possible, in the rain, and in the mid summer hail;

and the lexicon follows us, scientists, even, wherever we are not.

beckoning, as the sun does, everything wet
is shiny again

...

PCI-DSS must be addressed.
now.

THE MOST BEGUILING EYES (Stephen Fearing) Clive Cregson
You have the most beguiling eyes, that I have ever seen They can catch me up and spin me, and leave me in a dream
Though the words you speak are truthful, you know, you hurt me when you say that the time you spend with me is but a small part of your day
It seems that i'm the one that always comes a calling, and I'm asking you away from other friends but I'm waiting for the sounds of your step outside my door when the sun is setting low and the evening ends ...
I have always thought, that the picture's what you make it, and I've always believed that my actions were my own
Tell me can you see, that to give without recieving is bound to leave my heart like a piece of molten stone
Because it seems that I'm the one, that always comes a-calling, and I'm asking you away from other friends
But Im waiting for the sounds of your step outside my door when the sun is setting low and the evening ends ...

"i've looked at life from both sides now
from give and take
and still somehow..."