"You can't wait til you're OK to be Happy"

september pandember

august 30

i know i should be the bigger person;
although you are the older one
but just because i'm wise
doesn't mean i'm unkind
or kind.

sneaky and creative
august 17

zoom zoom


sneaky and creative
august 15
brain slowly getting back in gear.

the class was far too many hours
the students wanted to skate
they came from India
I was teaching them how to network
I created a Meetup event on my account for networking
I made them all create an account and join
We went skating
this is what an ENTJ brain can do...

aug. 14

Charity replied 
she said her videos are her therapy
freaky! alignment
then it was her birthday today

iLux is a mess
i slept til 11
this is my new brain

if my brain is not clear enough to articulate esoteric and ephemeral thoughts
then the mEp is where i will clear it

perhaps ToDo lists do the same for some people
maybe that is why they Do To Do lists

this is MY diary
i can write what I want

Be warned: This is my diary... clb

 friday aug. 13

the rabbit holes are dug
my brain can't keep things on top of things
because every moment has another plan for the future
so if my brain is not clear and settled
like it was for most of my life
i cannot process new information

this might be ENTJ related
or metadata related
or ADHD related
or Louise related

but it also might be


family tiktok fun

do not trigger my rabbit hole please
let me process
let me think
let me end my thoughts.

his thoughts were that i was correct about the disparity between Republican men and Cuomo:|
Republicans need to believe that their limited view of things is correct
which is logical if your parents put your phone in a basket in the kitchen at ten PM

you can learn to interview but apparently some people are indeed naturally talented at it.

august 8

a required conversation with ringing ears

started at 2 am when the INTP woke me going in and out of the house

clicked on a nightbird comment and was sent sailing away through how my brain works

and now my back aches from top to bottom in spite of little wine, 2 alleve, 1 tylenol, two dog parks
and the ears are singing

drove the child past my sleepy time
and was awake when i got home
equals 7.5
bad 7.5
broken 7.5

As I watch this I’m stuck on the metadata


- don’t really know who Cuomo is so had to google all that - the level of feeler he displays on public television really smacks me and makes me realize why republican men and certain types of macho men hate cnn - like it shows the divide so blatantly - and also is a demonstration of my view of the level of people being walking emotions - and wondering who writes his questions and is he acting or does he care and just so impressed with anyone who can have such a “perfect” conversation which sounds so off the cuff even if it isn’t ... and all of this is obsessing my brain even more than me processing what’s going on with her and how amazing she is -
And this brain process is what I call me Adhd and Ocd - as I tried to describe the other day - which is why I get stuck on stupid things in my calls and can’t listen to the detailed conversations .

I need all the metadata sorted out And also on Twitter there are the most beautiful comments about her and I wish I was good at writing such comments

What I consider difficult is to write things on social media that have the correct ... not sure the word but that come across as “neutral” in terms of perspective ... because my brain defaults to my perspective and I learned from the INFPs how most types don’t relate to social media messages that are other peoples opinions unless the message is written in a way that allows the reader to feel that they can (in having an epiphany as I write this ) but also wondering if my messages are waking you up so I will shut up now

august oneth twentytwentyoneth

the white rabbits thing still breaks my heart;
his spirit was light, until it was dark
yet all of the memories morph into his smiles