man, it's march.

february  28 2013
     

decided to be normal today, what does that mean.

nighttime writing for little poots means Idol is on tv
eyelids are droopy, the house is quiet, panic sets in, nighttime is not for writing

visitors to my office made a happy girl back to work today.

february  27 2013
     

wise questions about growing up; i could write a blog about it.
"do you like your job" "do you think you get paid enough"
she has figured out which questions to ask.

february  26 2013
    7:06am
 

wakey
wakey
not so bakey.
hibernation takes over.

a five dollar bag,
vietnamese shrimp,
a frozen Swiss boyfriend,
four hundred and twenty dollars from Maxi,
four hundred dollars of heating,
many things i could chronicle here,
i try to sum them up


i pick great apartments.


------------------------------


a five dollar bag,
vietnamese shrimp,
a frozen Swiss boyfriend,
four hundred and twenty dollars from Maxi,
four hundred dollars of heating,
many things i could chronicle here,
i try to sum them up
with the smallest of  breasts,

i pick great apartments.












february  25 2013
   
me and you and a pile of bills.

how far does being timeless take you
my alert eyes prance about this room, now our home,


back to packing.

february  24 2013
   
more sleep still.
even adults want what they can't have who knew
like me how fun
to acknowledge and understand something so important:
watch it poots, wait it poots, you can own it, you just didn't know you had to.

and how many know this, in all my wisdom, am i so dumb?
have i overlooked basics in the face of the complex?
has he?



pcidss: we get jiggy with what angered us when we realize it gives us power.

february  23 2013
   
more sleep.

days sometimes float by,
in between jolts of caffine, summer comes,
the pot ticks

bodies age, love grows, and the endless fears that are,
sneak through the cracks to rear their ugly little heads.

my own words ring constantly through my own head,
words and actions intertwined with lyrics, coffee, and groceries,
well is there any more to life than those three things?

so we think about what is common; actually we don't;
and this is the real miracle of love, actually we don't.
we just do.

    
february  21 2013
   

   a snowy world, scant sleep, caffeine might help, eggs boiling at six twenty two am.
the snow is whiter than the sky, piled high, on every surface known to man.
caffeine, in tepid form, thru my lips, chewing, nourishment, brain freeze.



reconcilliation comes in many forms.






february  17 2013
   

   two birthdays, two broke.

seven thirty three and poots will write her way through her thoughts this morning
without puncuation without parking and without you my frame of forty five kilograms sits and stares and sips
there's a beep there's a cardinal theres hungry guineapigs and then theres me

   








  february  15 2013
   

   not sure why a physical tell all is degratory but alas.
valentines day came and went; expectations were met, exceeded and not, all in one fell swoop of red, these are the days we will survive.
    early awake on a friday, rock-empty head, another late dinner, ringing ears, heart in your hands, when all else fails, pray.













  february  13 2013
   

   without degenerating completely into a physical tell-all,
poots would like to mention that these physical cells move in a world bound completely by physics
including dimensions like time, yet we have so little real understanding of these boundaries.
and lifting my mug, i all of a  sudden understand the field that the earth pulls on it, albeit heavier before 6.
is that how he interacts with the world constantly...............wow, ...... no wonder he can't focus, that would be distracting.

    but the physicality of which i speak has less to do with physics and forces, nor with the gravitational pull on my aging body.

    it feels like the home-stretch, some are marathoning, others gyming, for anyone who's still alive it's a choice between television or life;
and then there's the third and fourth category, one is me flailing about and the other one needs a nobel prize.

    dreamt that my father took us on a large ship to toronto, in the dark and stopping at familiar landing points.
maybe my ship hasn't sailed yet.




 




   february  11 2013
   

  i used to look forward to mid cycle, outward mode, social mindset;
but now, as poots' physical cell heads towards it's own midcycle,
she looks towards early cycle, signs of youth, fullness of otherwise empty breasts,
and anything which reminds her she's still a woman.

the smell of his early and fresh-shaved face lingers on my lower right cheek,
i can rub it over my nose, pungent after coffee,
the memory of his deep breaths into my hair,
before coffee, these are only wafts of reality.
now, as the gray landscape of the backyard lightens into day,
and as the caffeine drips into my veins,

one can almost wonder if he was real
this silent man moving in the dark
without him, is there a woman here at all.








   february10 2013
   

  poots squirrels in the orange room; facing inward, in more ways than one, while the person who is the male is left with only erotic thoughts.
(can you say that in the mEp)(will i get fired for speaking openly)(what the heck would Frankie say)(Poots slept 10 hours)



a real snob is indifferent to your accomplishments; doesn't placate you with niceties and cannot hide his disdain. that's okay. i don't mind. there was a time when i did, but at this point in my life, i honestly don't give a fuck. and that feels good.
 

february 9 2013
i abhore suckiness or can snobbery be defined in a vacuum?

  but there are levels of abhoring suckiness. and this is because there are varying levels of suckiness.
there's the guy who is a brainiac but refuses to follow protocol because he assums his brainiacness is better.
then there's the guy who ain't too brite, is really good at following protocol but doesn't have the wherewithall to make a decision for himself.
these are both counterproductive but neither mean that they are snobs. we could bring German translation into the mixture.

snobbery; elitism; entitlement; indifference;


oh yeah, i'm milking this one.





 
february 7 2013
words, actions, my essence and your essence.
what weighs on a balance and when the balance tips... how do you when to right it again.....

february 3 2013

  physicalness overpowers mEppishness, mind yoga balances with nether regions; throbbing each.
teency snow falls always remind me of the Grace family from more than thirty years ago. along with
recent words imprinted "she looks nice" and how important can words be when imprinted in a memory.
and still, matter over mind, poot's physicalness trumps any logic here, as the caffeine slowly opens
the arteries leading into the cranium, slowly brings in the world around her, and slowly but surely reviives
the tiny frame of flesh and bones pushing toward tomorrow.

february 2 2013

cache cleared

february 1 2013

  there was no choice. some days, there are words on a paper which simply cannot be spread here. why is that. frankie?
blatant bragging; purity; honesty; sincerity; in the face of all else; is not allowed in this world. context is always there, always relevant.
words cannot be spoken in a vacuum; a man who wants to kiss a woman; michel buble is one; there is at least one other; should forgiving be part of loving; eric segal said no, but, i'm not so sure. poots, foot-tapping to heart melting music, hits the repeat button to extend her morning void, her morning peace, she does this voluntarily and with great deliberation. grab fourteen moments. fill them up. with words, with songs, with every word that can be written. carousel, wishing well, ring my bell, mystery, outerspace, every minute of every day). the biggest mystery of all is right here and now, and it's the field that cannot be measured, the one which continues to warp my space, symmetry be dammed.  



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPUJIbXN0WY