july
june 30 2020
pandemic time, late june.
one wonders, is there a summer this year, and as arizona fucks up
one wonders if there is a summer next.
one wonders what ernie would have wanted, what he did not want, how his suffering now lives in me
the park swings squeak as if there is no pandemic, as my un-fixed eyeglasses fall from my nose,
and currently the ringing in my ears is unusually the most annoying thing on my tuesday morning plate.
vacation is on the horizon: we yearn for our few weeks off each year: to pretend we have no job: but we do:
and without it, the temporary vacation joy would never exist: there is irony in everything we do...
having anything on a table, is what i do not like. the table must always be clear: waiting for the next project:
the irony follows me everywhere i go.
i want to talk: but everything people do not want to hear what i have to say:
let's chip at that one
shall we.
june 25 2020
when you see my green dot i am indeed online
but i might be pooping
or waking up still
i might be planning
i might be
imagine waking up and having only one thing to think about
june 18 2020
there are levels of sad
and levels of angry
and levels of people who just do. not. listen.
do not impose your world view on me via Si.
just don't.
don't worry, though, their conversations aren't very interesting :P
june 17 2020
i feel you ignoring me: as the world spins:
your world, faster than mine
june 16, 2020
lt's not what i expected you to receive on your 18th birthday;
it pains me, more than you know
although i hope one day you will understand
june 14, 2020
logical or not, my brain insists on packing everything
in corners; in piles; in categories; in conclusions;
overriding conclusions
overriding assumptions
overriding groups
welcome to my ENTJ brain
june 12, 2020
11.38am
i am intuitive.
i get tired.
from my brain.
june 11, 2020
7.33am
there is a type
that no matter where you go and what you do
how many cities and countries and even cement tables
apparently we are all the same
sometimes lately i'm wondering if sleeping well is a good thing.
or not.
too. much. thoughts.
one year to discuss 40 years.
june 9, 2020
7.56 am
periodically i wake
on time to check cynthia's birthday
but even june 9th is a nice date
seven fifty six
i'm not even sure i want to own something
, with it , comes , responsibilities ,
, and i've been adulting . a long time.
calculating driving time
between meetings
wondering how long we can go between not washing the bathroom;
june 8, 2020
7.52 am
i want to write beauty to transform my thoughts today
from something to something else
from high to low;
from closed to open
my intuition traverses boundaries, and the internet,
and sometimes i wish it did not
june 11, 2020
7.33am
there is a type
that no matter where you go and what you do
how many cities and countries and even cement tables
sometimes lately i'm wondering if sleeping well is a good thing.
or not.
too. much. thoughts.
june 5, 2020
7.59am
je feel sick = i've never had a real job
we never thought you'd leave us now.
the hole you left only gets bigger
as i find parts of you on the floor
and i pick them up
june 4, 2020
8.10am
you can say all you want
they will never hear you
if they are not listening
...
and most of them aren't
june 3, 2020
8.36pm
i just thought of something.
perhaps i was always a better worker.
just a thought.
june 1, 2020
7.45am
buzzing inside buzzing outside: the heat moved on from our neighborhood:
left with fewer zeros than before:
9.25pm
on a monday which feels like none-day: none energy none done with werk day
twitter is a mess like the rest
of the werld
huddled in a
blip meeting
blip meeting
8:12pm
staring at the many green dots:
not wanting to talk to any of them
makes me sad