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  • M A R C H 2 0 1 1 - Beyond Twitter ...

    my    E l e c t r o n i c    pen ... the 2011  romantic edition ...

    i   n  d  e  x

    m a r c h     31

    m a r c h     30

    poots, well slept, is awake again.

    the fish swim; music swims in my head;
    thoughts, fleeting, inappropriate, come, and they go.
    everyday can't be a masterpiece
    even though you wish it.

    sip the java, hurry,
    stop biting
    relax poots,
    all is well.

    take your own words with you; perchance to!

    and one more here before i awake to the public world...
    is there something i believe in more than this...

    To give my life to you and to this feeling
    That's alive today
    And never let it go, never let it go away
    No matter what this is
    No matter, no matter what this is
    It's everything that is

    can a thought be more clear, more powerful, more commanding,
    than this?

    would i have different thoughts if i were an everyday housewife?

    m a r c h     28

    the ones i miss most
    are the ones i never had

    m a r c h     26

    my facebook playlist, playlist of mylife
    it's a miracle, my love miracle my love
    ron sexsmith

    quiet girls;
    quiet house, disquieting;
    headphones for an old lady;
    music circles me,
    understands me,
    comforts me;

    no matter what this is.
    and who knows what it is
    but it's everything that is

    This is what I wanna live for
    This is where I wanna live
    To give my life to you and to this feeling
    That's alive today
    And never let it go away
    No matter what this is

    This is, and how can I deny it
    This is, and will not be denied
    And you don't have to give an explanation
    For the way you feel
    I only wanna know it's real
    No matter what this is

    To give my life to you and to this feeling
    That's alive today
    And never let it go, never let it go away
    No matter what this is
    No matter, no matter what this is
    It's everything that is

    jimmy webb

    m a r c h     25

    nuts, brownies, and libya.
    my head spins and the bright red cardinals swoop outside the french doors.
    if i sit, unyoga'd, focusing, waiting for the caffeine to infuse my being, time passes.

    it is tax time, two neat piles of papers sit to my left. one will bring me money. one will cost me money.
    it is my fervant hope that the former will win out yet again this year. only rosey rose knows.

    this time of year, i smell all the other places i lived.
    when the jets use runway A, I'm back in LA, driving early in the morning up Sepulveda boulevard...
    and when the air is stilll and the sun shines early, and it's slightly colder than normal for March,
    i smell both the entrance to the Alvik residence and the running trails outside Balingsholm, not far from where the taxi dropped me off
    after arriving from Arlanda. his visa machine wasn't working and we had to go back inside to have the hotel give me some cash.
    that was a long time ago, but i smell it still, and i'm quite certain that the coffee they served upon arrival from the large silver carafe
    had been made in the morning and kept warm until my very late arrival.
    i can't remember if simon was there, but i also can't remember having any fun, so i guess he was not.

    can i really call this a blog?

    m a r c h     24

    a star is dead
    how is my liver
    tiny snow falls
    the twitterverse awakes..
    why is carolyn hennessey following Me
    and who is she anyways

    you don't get me, but you don't get 'IT' either
    you certainly won't get me on twitter.

    the little one counts showers;
    she is becoming a citizen;
    "On est jeudi maman?"

    and poots, her coffee, and two newspapers unopened,
    afixed liz taylor's glaze, in bad print, staring at me from beyond the grave...
    will she ever really die

    other thoughts encircle me
    i'm wrapped up in myself
    AR is nowhere to be found
    and i wonder about his divorce
    from his italian wife

    work, a duty, but singing and writing are becoming imperatives
    can i make myself into an artist
    while walking around number 5
    in a grey flannel suit?

    m a r c h     23

    fakers, insecure fakers, every one.

    just tryin' to wake up here. 7:42.

    stephen fearing beguiling into my ears; not my eyes;

    music is a lovely way to wake up, as well as go to sleep...

    allowing myself a rare second coffee, i've shut out the world...
    i slept really, really well, and that's mostly dangerous...

    wednesday in poot's world; mid-week; meetings; singing
    and all there is to say is sleep.

    sleep means i can focus. it means i can prioritize. it means i am in control.

    berdj once explained to us the difference between zero and one.
    and that, is all there is to know about math.

    between brownie badges and bad budgets,
    i tweet.

    and all the proclamations that i have about life; and death;
    are all here.


    m a r c h     22

    how much joy to fake
    for the sake
    of a child

    sometimes, i get fed up with people telling me what to do...


    the ones who fake it best win the prize

    m a r c h     21

    monday monday

    a day in a week, wakey wakey poots
    dark eyes and careless hair you were fashionably sensitive but too cool to care
    sip more java, poots, this isn't twitter...

    i am, i am looking for words to form a thought
    the little one, getting bigger, will call to me soon;
    7:23 is late, even for her

    i found some nice art
    newyorkers are friendly
    and i think i've nearly had enough of facebook

    m a r c h     20

    finally, the dream is over.

    pirogee moons and tacky noise, i simply cannot think.
    i'll pull a dance from somewhere - as life grinds through me -
    through my aching feet, my wavering heart, and my eroding hope
    i'll continue to move, to parade; to never sharade;
    making my opinionated point
    my tiny little spot
    and believing, always, that i am important.
    No matter who isn't listening.

    does my subconscience really think someone hates me?

    m a r c h     19

    yes it's me, foul mouth and opinions.
    who's opinions count, says i.
    where are you from?
    ask me a question,
    get an answer.

    i'm just that way with words.

    painfully poots posts penned prattle


    m a r c h     17

    his clients leave after they say 'Wow!' because it's at that point that the balance starts to tip
    is that what i do with people?

    i am drawn towards people who are smarter than me;
    most people like people who are not smarter than them;
    the cross-section is small
    when there's no Wow.

    adele soothes the mind, the body, and the soul in one fell lyric

    it doesn't all have to be thematic.

    the theme,
    is life.


    m a r c h     1 6


    many many thoughts!
    archandroids (janelle monae) to quiet fish
    screaming adele in the car, bad for the vocal folds but oh, so good for the soul: it's always a trade off.

    a web page is archaic now, but the silence is deafening and i still like it...

    and so, after a brutal singing lesson, here i am, late at night, able to sing anything.
    notes come out; i'm not cocky, but the notes are coming, and the higher the better
    it's a bit mad ness.

    m a r c h     1 6

    on the Ides of March...poots made the correct choice,
    and that choice was the counter-intuitive one.

    it took every single one of my forty-five years to make that choice.

    life can be very, very strange that way...
    learn to love...
    learn to feel...
    learn to be alive...
    then learn to live...

    and why am i cheating with time

    let's read the paper now
    japan still needs us.

    March 1 5

    not much interested in the daily logistics of life,
    but more with the interaction with raw things...
    raw emotion - tell me what is in your heart; good or bad;
    raw thoughts - tell me what you're afraid to say;
    raw connections - connect with yourself, then tell me what you really know.

    today i'm in the Middle:
    the middle of a decision;
    the middle of happiness;
    the middle of the hallway,
    and generally, in the middle of life.

    it's true. it's my only real message, my only thought that matters.
    be honest with yourself, and honest with me,
    that's all i ask of you.

    whoever you are.

    m a r c h     1 4

    odd coffee, today only.
    in spite of calamities, both piles of paper in front of me are dull, not calling me

    words; coffee;
    decision to be made -
    grubby mind, heart and head; funk; will i stay or will i go

    are you funky too, or do you let yourself wake slowly into a day


    m a r c h     13

    japan is sad

    the world watches, what else can we do...

    and now i must live my daughter's fears as well

    calculating ages, lower math and higher ground

    poots, in her time-lagged achy bones, stares blankly
    at life
    for a child

    acknowledge it; but move passed it; will piano lessons help
    is there too much time for thinking;
    is that what the 'good parents' do?

    in choir, we used to sing:
    "Strengthen all the weary hands. steady all the trembling knees say to the faint hearts, take Courage! for he comes, the Prince of Peace"
    and what happens, in 2011, if no Prince?


    m a r c h     13

    early morning and there's a palm tree by my side.

    the family sleeps, the snow falls.

    i feel apologetic.
    i dreamt two dreams; one recurring but with a conclusion, the other a first.
    i was moving, physically and in my mind, between the here and now, the afterlife, and every state in between.
    it was a psychadellic dream, but i did no drugs.
    was it the macarons, or our debate of the existence of God?

    it's an hour later, and i'm beat up.
    however i'm having some original thoughts in my beatupedness.
    the child is getting older; need to change the approach;
    when the lease is up, should we go green?
    do you ever wake up with original thoughts? i rarely do, so this is a good thing.

    while painstakingly trying to spread gloppy cheese passed through the food processor after lazily no wanting to hand grate it,
    i said, in my now familiar Indian lady voice...

    "saving time is not always time saving"

    and the second babysitter is now a second no-show.

    m a r c h     10

    have i written lately  about unconditional  love ...

    it's the only real love, the only kind that really matters,
    the rest do damage that no amount of love can undo
    it has to be pure from the start

    and it's rare,


    the seventies are not coming back, are they.

    can the Dalai Lama really quit?

    music music music
    and when i hear serena ryder sing "when i woke up this mornin', you were on my mind"
    i can't help but worry that for all the trying,
    the seventies are not coming back.

    m a r c h     9

    contemplating a day that reminds you you've designed your life
    ...yet you're still trapped in it

    only contemplating Africa helps
    however sleep helps too

    babysitter hunting;
    liza minelli

    and it's a rush against time to live a live we're forced to live.

    international woman's day> it's over now

    m a r c h     8

    sitter quitter twitter.

    twitter confirms that the world has only a ten second attention span
    and for those who don't, will be converted
    i've jumped on board the twitter train
    because that's where the locomotive is going
    and who, not i, the hell, wants to be left behind?

    and i guess, the more people you can potentially interact with,
    the shorter your interactions must therefore be.

    the sitter quit, now i have to find another one.

    don't bother reading the rest

    smelling burnt plastic can't be good
    however i lost my earrings too
    and that can't be better

    "I know it ain't easy, givin' up your heart" - adele sings that

    wow, let's have placement here.- not possible to rush into a thought - especially if you want it packaged
    the words can come out lightly, and then it really is stream of consciousness, let's just write the awakeness out of me.

    it was a snowstorm, i didn't have a camera at the butterflies, my glasses are still upstairs, and, can i make the most out of this next six minutes because that's likely all ihave.
    first i need to wake up. maybe i already sound awake.

    extra fish in the tank, no one is ever going to read this.

    the sitter quit, now i have to find another one.
    i guess i might hear my daughter waking up now.

    m a r c h     6

    the coffee is weak today
    am i?

    what would you say if exactly by the time your pc booted up
    your time was up and the coffee was cold?

    planning, she's planning
    i'm chewing, chewing

    there's no time for original thoughts when one is interupted constantly:
    so i'll apologize for that
    and just slowly go insane
    right in front of your eyes

    a bit more brewing java helps:
    the snow is coming down as if the creator himself was throwing it on a wedding

    why bother for silence
    it's a rare commodity
    and why bother for anything else
    if it's all that i want

    do i feel better now

    last day of frustration
    tomorrow back to the normal grind
    at least it's ground
    and i get to keep my feet on the ground from 9 to 5

    and the coffee only very slightly tastes of the ketchup stuck to the measuring cup that i used to warm the milk
    because the woman who ran the dishwasher doesn't know that tall dishes block the soap dispenser

    m a r c h     5

    two week vacations are lonely

    email is so personal

    who makes phone calls

    social network and never say never don't quite have the same message, it was a big surprise for me this not fuzzy story
    however i like his alienation
    it makes me feel less alone.

    tweets are too short
    and today i am writing late at night, i can't say why except that the only thing i care about is reaching out to touch somone
    dont' ask me who cause i don't really know

    and beyond twitter is this white space - quiet - lonely yet expansive - free paper - where i'm free to say what's on my mind, or at least what i would legally write down on paper

    which isn't too much more than the fact that i'm lonely

    wow, did i just write that


    m a r c h     3

    do we get used to being lonely

    and everyone i'm drawn to leaves...

    am i drawn to people who like change
    people who don't care about community
    people who don't like scrutiny

    if i can't have an hour, first thing in the morning, to go through all of the permutations and combinations of my mind,
    then i am not fit to enjoy the day.
    this activity gets interupted about 11 days out of 14.
    such is my life.

    no one wants to play with a natural born leader

    the mEp

    1996 - 2011