november mep

December arrived



pronouns are
fine, Bones,
i get it,
you can choose your own gender
from 72.

you can have none.

but when you turn 45,
i hope the other person in your house
does half the work.

by the way.
i think you might be INFP.

emotional issues

nov 26


this old lady woke at 7 am
she had something to say
but also had a dog to walk
a bill to pay
a credit limit increase
a christmas calculation
4 email accounts to check
a cake review to write
a photo order to check
and a man to not yell at.

nov 23

i'm not here to be a bitch
even tho you don't get it
i'm just here to explain my brain

so there's a few things that need to be written
1) my theory about generations going forward is that even though you think it's healthy for YOU to be in touch with your emotions and while YOU may have been depressed due to not being in touch with your emotions
2) i still think that humans have become walking emotions
and that's not good


literally everything we do in this modern world messes with our emotions

churning butter did not.

just because you weren't in touch with yours doesn't mean i always knew   mine were there
but i always knew to push them aside
as i still do today

because if i LET myself FEEL all the emotions I KNOW I have
I would kill myself.


do i have ADHD?
Yes, I know you think it's trauma but it's not.

am I self actualized? 

i may not be able to articulate all my emotions and feelings
but as we all know, when I first heard Brene Brown talk, she was saying things I already knew

even though I  cannot articulate them.
Doesn't mean I am not aware of them.

one more thing.

i've always been in touch with myself.
ransacking rooms of other people is stupid
i knew it then i know it now.

just because a famous author said something doesn't mean that I didn't already know it at 14.

Topic for this week's MBTI

  1. Emotions
  2. Being in touch
  3. What are they
  4. Can we feel without understanding them
  5. Can we have emotions and not articulate them
  6. Do we have to artirulate
  7. Which types are better at articulating emotions
  8. Do we really need to understand them
  9. What causes this inabliity to articulate?

have to walk to dog


where did my creative voice go, is it still within me
as i sip tepid decaf
in the dark with whining pets
and an itchy scalp

i peruse social media,no longer the internet,
and get triggered by things i never knew about
and wish i still didn't

after dreaming about swimming holding mugs
in a large empty pool
and finding out the kids were staying much longer
than i thought
after spending all the money
feeling the joy
and now nearing the end of this moment of silence
with cold fingers
in a cold room

the internet we knew is gone
and yes it did become the social venue we wanted
but with everyone here,
it's just an online version of the planet

a bit less angry than yesterday,
thanks wine.

nov. 16

itchy and angry
angry and itchy

how do people care so much about stupid shit?
which cognitive function makes them care?


nov. 10

made it to november tenth
without u
without u
without u

november is a tall month
a long month
except in times like this
when nothing is long

every fabric i own has value
except the decision over a six hundred dollar coat
shall i spoil myself
am i already spoiled
by spoiling you

i could live a life today
not behind a plexiglass
but it's yours now

and i absorb it all
unless i sleep
then i would cry
i'll sing instead
or go fill the pantry

nov. 9

days go buy
money flies

i. had a story to tell you yesterday but it's gone now
like everything is gone eventually

i could dedicate this to you
like the house
but that means zilch


nov. 4
4 days went by
ten days went by
thirty eggs
and four gallons of milk